Flustered by the time I woke up ....Over the next while I tried to get back into my normal routine, and whileI didn't forget what had happened, I did push it to the back of my mindwhile I tried to handle my day to day life.Until a letter arrived in the mail, which brought the whole episode backto me.It was from the office of the mayor of my city. It said that my "heroism"had been submitted for a civic award, and as a result I was being invitedto city hall to be honored.At first, I didn't want to go. I liked being mostly under the radar, justtrying to live my life as best as I could without making a big deal aboutit, but then I realized that I couldn't remember there ever being a localtrans person making the news for a good reason. I decided I had anobligation to go, if only because we could use all the positive rolemodels we could get in the trans community.So I started making phone calls and leaving emails for my friends andfamily, and looked up a local beauty school figuring that. The seemingly unavoidable body odor and obsessive use of hand sanitizer, coupled with a compulsive need to “explain” things made even the most tolerant Last Chance customer, rigidly intolerant. That left him pretty much left out and safely invisible.Carl won a disability award in 1978, due to his uncontrollable personal habits, as they made it impossible for him to hold a job. He spent the intervening decades hoping for relief and dreaming of a world where he felt safe. Most people with whom he shared his vision for a safe world, instantly and correctly diagnosed him as a serious but harmless mental case. Anyone who gave him a second thought wondered if it wasn’t bad enough that Carl needed to be institutionalized.He never had a chance in life. Being born black with an amazing artistic talent, he was the owner of an IQ in the high one-seventies that made many regret the lost opportunities that could have come his way in life. A complete nervous wreck, he suffered minor indignities.
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